Kicking and Screaming
by Purgurl
Summary: Remus tries tell Tonks that she is better off without him, again. But something small changes his mind. RL/NT fluff.
1. Chapter 1

Hello all! Well since I've seen HBP and am totally enraged about the lack of Tonks/Lupin time, I've decided that writing a fic would get it out of my system. Or at least help. Hope you all enjoy. Unbetaed, so sorry for mistakes, I've tried my best!

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Remus opened the door and stepped into the dimly lit home. Well, he stumbled, rather like his wife might have done, only his clumsiness was a result of his intense anger. How dare Harry talk to him like that? He didn't know the full situation, didn't know what it was like for him. Having to wonder every day whether or not your kid is going to 'inherit' your illness. And even if he didn't, how much teasing and isolation he would have to endure as a result of having a werewolf for a father? Then Dora, he loved her so much. So much that he would do anything to stop her going through the pain she was going to go through being married to him. Isolation, cruel jibes, her job at risk. He wasn't worth any of it. Why couldn't Harry see that?

'Dora? Where are you?'

He needed to talk to her. He needed to try and get through to her once and for all.

'In here Remus,' came her quiet reply.

Remus steeled himself. He'd had this conversation, or argument, with her before, but this time he was determined to make it sink in.

He walked into the living room, lit only by a small lamp in the corner of the room. Tonks was lying with her feet up on the couch, with her eyes closed. It was still strange for Remus to see her sitting so still, usually she was doing anything that she could to keep busy, but the pregnancy was taking a tole on her energy levels.

Remus walked slowly into the room. Tonks didn't open her eyes but gave a small smile to show that she felt his presence. He made his way to the couch and gently lifted her feet and sat down. Tonks propped her displaced feet onto his legs. She slowly opened her eyes at a lazy pace and smiled at her husband. She looked so relaxed, and at ease, more comfortable than he had seen her since Sirius had died. More than anything in the world he didn't want to have to disturb her peace, but he needed to make sure that she was going to be safe.

'Dora, we need to talk,' he said slowly, trying not to look at the eyes that pierced his.

'Oh. What about?' Futile, thought Tonks. She knew what he was going to do. And she was sick of it. So, so, sick and tired.

'I know we've had this conversation over and over again. And I know that you have already told me you don't agree and-'

'Then why the hell bring it up again Remus?' Tonks interupted him mid-speech. She already knew it by heart.

The look of relxation that had only minutes before had enveloped her face was replaced with one of sheer defiance.

Remus knew that look, the one that only she could conjure. It translated as 'Don't go there Lupin, this is not your night.'

Then, it was never his night during an argument with Tonks. So why not just give it a go? Maybe she'd be so sick of hearing it that she'd eventually give in?

'Wishful thinking,' he whispered. Tonks caught his eye, she had heard him, and give him a suspicious look.

'Look Tonks, you and the baby need safety, you need to be able to go places without experiencing abuse, you need to live a life without having to feel ashamed of who you are stuck married to - '

Tonks interupted Lupin for the second time that night. 'Hold on there Mr Lupin. Ashamed? What makes you think I'm _ashamed _of you huh? I'm ashamed of living in a world of prejudiced bastards, that's what I'm ashamed of...' Remus could see her face begining to get redder, he reached out for her hand to try and calm her. She moved it away and continued. 'And STUCK? I am not '_stuck' _anywhere. If I didn't want to be married to you then I wouldn't be. Simple as that. But as it happens I do want to be married to you and I do want to be with you forever and---' Tonks paused, a strange look on her face.

'OH!' she cried. She instinctivly reached down to the bump in her stomach and placed her hand over its middle.

Remus looked at her with a horrified face.

'Dora, what is it? Are you ok? Is the baby ok? Will I send a messege to St. Mungo's? Do I need to call your Mum, or Molly?'

Tonks looked at her husband and broke out in a huge smile. Which confused her husband even more. Without speaking she took his hand and pulled it gently towards her. She placed it next to her own on top of her rounded stomach.

'Feel' she said, simply.

Remus waited. Then he felt it. A tiny little kick. And then again, stronger this time. A grin instantly replaced the look of horror he had worn before. His baby was kicking.

He looked into Tonks' eyes without moving his hand. She looked as delighted as he.

'This,' she whispered slowly ' is why you need to stay. Your kid is in there. And he needs a Dad.'

And suddenly, Remus understood. Harry was right. Tonks was right. Molly was right. Heck, everyone was right except for him. He couldn't leave his son. Somehow it was easier to imagine when he hadn't seen or felt or even fully taken it in, but after feeling a movement from his child, he knew he could never do it. He couldn't leave Tonks. Again. And he sure as hell couldn't leave his own child when he had the chance to stay. He knew his old friend would have given anything to watch his son grow up, but he didn't have a choice. Harry was correct, Remus was selfish.

'Ok,' Remus said simply. 'I''m staying. And I won't argue about it ever again. I realise this is where I'm meant to be and that if you didn't want me here you would've chucked me a long time ago. I love you Dora. And I love our little sprog too,' he said, patting Tonks' belly as he spoke.

Tonks grinned. 'About. Bloody. Time. Lupin. Now, go get me and the sprog here a nice hot chocolate.'

Remus smiled and happily obliged. He got up, placing her feet softly back onto the couch and made his way halfway to the kitchen.

'Remus?' Tonks called in a deathly serious tone. He froze and turned around.

'Yes?' he said, holding his breath. Her face was stern and serious.

'Don't forget the marshmallows this time.'

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Well, I hoped you liked the fluffffff. Hehe. I'd be very grateful for reviews if you have time =)


	2. A lack of Instinct

I thought I'd post this as a second chapter to 'Kicking and Screaming' because it dealt with the pregnancy issue, just like that fic. It's not really a continuation of 'Kicking and Screaming' but it can be read as though it is, and can be read as a completely separate one-shot also. Again, it's just another fluffy moment between Tonks and Remus, but this time instead of an unsure Remus, the tables are kind of turned a 'lil bit. Hope you all enjoy and if you have some time, I'd really appreciate a review =)

Disclaimer: No-one here is mine

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Tonks was exhausted. 18 hours. 18 excruciatingly painful hours of giving birth.

She lay back in the hospital bed. She closed her eyes and thought of the last few hours. She had gone from 'Tonks- slightly impractical, clumsy, pregnant Auror' to 'Tonks - extremely exhausted within the few hours of motherhood' within a day. And the thought scared her a little. She looked a her surroundings. She hoped to cheer herself up by looking at the various different flowers and gifts that had already arrived in her room, for surely that was the gift-giver's intentions? Yet, she still felt a strange knot in her stomach.

She loved her son from the moment that she had set eyes on him. He was gooey and screaming but the love that she felt for the small creature, that slightly resembled an alien at that moment, was immeasurable. Yet she was still scared. How was she going to be a good mother? Throughout her entire pregnancy she had been excited, she couldn't wait for the birth of her son, but now that the time had come, a sense of panic washed over her. This was a panic that she had never experienced before. She might be an Auror, a job that put her in mortal danger more than once, she may be a member of the Order of the Phoenix, a position that practically dangled her in front of vengeful Deatheaters at times, but none of that was even close to being as scary as being responsible for another human.

'Hi Sweetheart.'

Tonks' eyes fluttered slightly, but she was too exhausted to open them fully.

'How is he?' she breathed out slowly.

Remus chuckled. He rarely saw Tonks tired, she usually had so much energy in her, it was strange to see her so still.

'He's great Dora. Hair's changing colour every five minutes. Your Mum said that happened with you too for the first few months.'

'Yeah, I like to think that I brought a bit of colour to their lives for a while,' she smiled.

Remus moved to sit next to Tonks on the edge of her hospital bed. He reached out and took her hand, slowly stroking his thumb over the back of her palm. He thought she looked more beautiful now than ever.

Tonks chuckled at the sensation, she had always been ticklish. Her eyes opened and she looked into her husband's eyes. She saw nothing but pure love and excitement. Only months prior he had been so unsure. He didn't feel like he should be with Tonks and his child, he didn't think their being together was worth the stares, the whispers and the hardships that would surely follow such an odd pairing as theirs. But now, every trace of uncertainty was gone.

Remus looked into his wife's eyes and was rather startled at what he saw. Her face was smiling, but Remus could see fear in her eyes. He began to panic slightly. What was she holding back? Was she finally realising that her son could be cursed with his illness? Was she realising that her son was going to be ridiculed because of his father? He couldn't blame her for that, he had felt the very same way himself only months earlier. He had tried to leave and stayed largely because of her reassurances. If she had changed her mind...

'Dora, what's wrong?' he asked, holding his breath and hoping against hope that his fears had not been realised.

She looked like a little girl on her first day of school. She appeared as though she had no idea where she was going, like she didn't know anyone, she didn't know the rules.

Remus reached a hand to her cheek and gently stroked it.

'Please Dora, tell me what's wrong?'

He could hear her inhaling. She gulped in the air like she wasn't going to breath again.

'Well, its going to sound stupid, but...' She knew that she could trust him not to laugh. '...You know how people say being a mother is instinctive? Like they just know how to do it? Well, I'm afraid Remus. What if I don't? It's like...I remember going to Diagon Alley to get my first wand. Olivander told me that when the I held the right wand for me I'd just know it was meant to be mine. He went through hundreds upon hundreds of wands, and nothing. He said that he'd never seen anything like it. My Dad's brother joked that maybe I wasn't cut out to be a witch, just didn't carry the natural instinct despite the family I was born into. What if I have no instinct for this, for being a Mum?'

She looked so lost that Remus wanted to grab her and bundle him to her, but could not, she was still in a considerable amount of pain. He settled for putting his arm around her and holding her hand.

'Dora, do you remember that night when I found you trying to set up the baby cradle alone? Without magic. And I tried to help but you insisted that you felt like it was something that you needed to do yourself ? And how about that fact that you became the youngest Auror in a century? Not to mention that you also managed to make your mother agree that she only needed to knit 4 baby-suits for Teddy, and that was no easy feat. You are the most determined person I've ever met. You have such an amazing ability to keep on going through the tough times, through the easy times and through the times when everyone else has as good as given up. If I know you like I think I know you, then you'll be determined to be the best mother ever. And so you will be, simple as that. Besides, you obviously found a wand in the end, and I'll be damned if you aren't a witch with a natural instinct for hexing...'

Tonks smiled at her husband.

'You couldn't half tell that you're a professor eh? Such a way with persuasiveness and words. Its no wonder that the kids always made their homework deadlines,' she laughed. 'But, thank you,' she continued in a more serious tone,' you always know what to say.'

'I love you Dora,' he replied simply and kissed her cheek gently. 'Now, I'll be back in a few, you need some rest, and there's a certain someone that needs to see a picture of his new godson!'


End file.
